But you have to learn to tolerate any type of attitude you’ve been given. I’m a pretty mellow person I try to make people smile. And then as they were leaving, they were like, ‘We’re going to Vegas, wanna come?’ But I had to stay and work.” But no, a legitimate bus pulls up, and a ton of drag queens come out. I thought, okay, like a group of 10 or 15 people. “Someone told me early one night that we were expecting a busload of drag queens. But he finally calmed down and waited for his Lyft.” Then he got back up again, and I had to pin him against the wall. Unfortunately, that meant we had to bring him down to the ground. “Anyway, I had him going out the door, but someone else said something, and then he started to lunge back in. So saying something racist is the only other option, and that isn’t cool. About 95 percent of the people that come through this door are gay, so for people to belittle each other for being gay doesn’t really work in this atmosphere. Last week was pretty bad, though-a regular got a little bit too intoxicated, and decided to use race as a means of insulting another patron. “Only two people so far in the time I’ve worked here. But the people are really nice, and don’t usually cause too much trouble.” “Well, of course it’s really well-known, because it’s the oldest gay bar in the Bay Area. I’ve done security work before, but this is my first time working at a bar.” Like this one guy, he was mad, and he told me, ‘I bet your parents are ashamed of what you do.’ I was a diver in the Navy! That’s why I don’t like the term ‘bouncer.’ I prefer ‘door host’ because it’s about setting a tone, about getting people in the right mindset so they’re not just respectful to you, but respectful to the other patrons.”
Most people, their intentions are good, but sometimes people say horrible stuff. I’ll admit it! One time, the owner, Cindy, was doing the ordering for the bar-she was looking at the order list and she asked, ‘Why is Bailey’s on here? We don’t sell any Bailey’s.’ And I had to come clean.”
And late at night, if I want a little something sweet… sometimes I’ll have a Bailey’s. “Usually I don’t drink after shifts I’ll have a soda water. I had to kick a guy out the other night for that, peeing in the bar. They could go outside the bar and do it around the corner, but they do it there for some reason. Sometimes, people will just get tired of waiting and pee on the floor. “We only have one bathroom, so the line can get pretty long. But I was just like, ‘That is not how that works.’” “Yeah, he didn’t fight me on it or anything. I asked, ‘What are you doing?’ and he was like, ‘I just thought it’d be cool to take it.’” A guy just walked out of here one time with one of the lamps, didn’t even try to hide it. They’ll take anything that isn’t nailed down-big stuff, too, like a painting or a lamp. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen working the door? I’ve been clean and sober for 13 years, and it’s probably the best decision I’ve made in my entire life. I started breaking out in handcuffs and felonies. “I don’t drink anymore-I found out I was allergic to it. The fake IDs they’re doing these days are a lot better than they used to be.” Last night, we had a group of six kids come in with bad IDs, but they looked really, really good. “Honestly, staying on your toes to catch fake IDs. What’s the biggest challenge of working here? First rule is that nobody hits the old man.’ I get that laugh, and then I have them, they’re focused on me. A couple of guys start pushing up on each other? I’ll just jump in the middle and say, ‘OK. “If I can get people to focus on me, then I’ve got ‘em. I’ll just put my arm around them and go, ‘What are you doing, son?’ and the guy will go ‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ And I’ll say, ‘You’ve gotta go home now,’ and he’ll say, ‘Can I come back tomorrow?’ and I’ll say, ‘Sure, you just can’t come back acting like this.’ I just go up and put my arm around people-I use the age card a lot these days, because it really works now. You knew you were gonna get into a fight every night, and you kind of looked forward to it.” I spent enough years on the pointy end of the spear, doing hip-hop shows and punk shows. You know, these kids are not angry, they’re not carrying guns, they listen when I talk to them. It’s all local people, and they bring their friends and their dogs to have a beer on the patio. I tell my friends it’s like a retirement home for aging doormen.” I’ve worked at Heart & Dagger for about nine years, since it first opened. I’m the oldest continually working bouncer in the Bay Area. “I’ve been a bouncer since ’84, so that’s 34 years now.
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